helluva town…

spike lee filmed a little short for nyc- a love letter. i have a love-hate relationship with this city… and i’ve come to the conclusion that it really can’t be any other way. i hate the subway, but it’s convenient… i hate the driving, but it limits the bullshit on the subway i’d have to deal with… i’m over the pushiness, the relentless competition, yet, here, you find the cream of the crop, the fighters, the people who fight with each-other one minute and come together when the going gets tough. iconic architecture, landmarks that folks from around the world come to visit… it boasts the most diverse neighborhoods in the world (specifically in Queens)… people show you the worst of humanity and the best. and somehow, it’s all amplified here.

i’ve been back since 2006. most of that living in brooklyn. one year in the bronx. working in manhattan…

7pm every night, people make noise for the essential workers : delivery people, grocery store workers, gas station employees, nurses, doctors, janitors, sanitation, firemen, police, MTA employees, laundromat workers…

in apartment windows hang thank you notes and rainbow drawings from the kids…

bowie settled here. so did lennon.

i’ll get up tomorrow cursing the loud music that played way too long into the night. i’ll get up and feed the cats, shower and eat breakfast. regret reading the news and seeing a climb in numbers of the dead for the city and nation and shake my head in disbelief at what the orange buffoon has recently said and/or done. i’ll put my coat on cause it’s still freakin’ cold and lock my apt door (both locks). i’ll head down 3 flights, hit the bodega downstairs for a bottle of seltzer and head to my car. i’ll blast dexy’s midnight runners “come on eileen” and beastie boys “no sleep til brooklyn” while i’m cursing the speeders and cutters and head to the bridge. admire the most beautiful bridge in the world, and then curse the asshole who cut me off getting on the exit lane… i’ll head up the fdr and drive in the middle lane and watch as they speed past me on the right and left. park the car and head to work. come back in the dead of night, when all is quiet cause it’s a school night. i’ll look up at the full moon, the beautiful cherry blossoms under the night sky. i’ll head to the apt building, up 3 flights, say hello to the cats and realize… i am home. this is home with all its contradictions and complexities. this is home.