i’m sitting here listening to john mayer sing gravity. i’m surrounded by packed boxes. another move. another place to leave. i’m already feeling sad. this here is where i lived last with my two cats, now deceased. orangehead’s ashes wait in a bag to be somewhere new…
sometimes, i equate the leaving with defeat. the inability to settle. to be still, to be satisfied. what will it take? will i EVER feel at home?
sometimes, there are sparks of moments when the sun has just set and everything is a little glowy twilight blue and it’s quiet and i’ve got a book and soft music playing in the background and tuxedo cat is nestled at my feet…
that’s when i feel at home.
that, i can take with me…
~~~
Leaving isn’t always defeat. Sometimes it’s advancement. Movement is life, after all.